HEART TO HEART
From my heart to yours, I send you love. After all, it is the week to celebrate love. But it’s not all about romance. If that happens to be a part of the celebration, woohoo! But it’s so much wider and deeper. How do we singles be okay with celebrating “Valentines”?
Probably more than any other holiday, we put more expectations on this day than any other. Even more than Christmas and here’s why: It has to do with relationships, whether newly forming or the most intimate. Our mindset is cloned to expect the flowers, the fancy dinner, the gifts we expect the other to know we want. Think about all the women who have been devastated because they were expecting an engagement ring on Valentine’s Day. Really? If that is part of your day or has been, what a glorious experience to hold in your heart forever; but to expect it?
The truth is, for many, the events of the day have been so conjured up there’s absolutely no possibility of truly experiencing authentic love in celebration. It’s a complete set up for an expectation hangover, as Christine Hassler calls it.
Not to mention how the way we celebrate Valentine’s Day isolates and invalidates people who are single. There are so many ways to celebrate love even when you’re single. The truth is, even those that are in a romantic relationship may feel pressure to perform or please, and even dread it if the relationship is strained. Of course, there will be lots of true lovey dovey, ooey gooey stuff going on, but as a single, I have permission to create some yummy stuff to celebrate love.
This Saturday in Oklahoma was a high of 89 degrees and sunny (It broke the record set back in the 1930’s). I’d been so excited when I heard the forecast earlier in the week that we would have such a perfect day on a Saturday. I made up my mind then that I would be outdoors all day. A smile encompassed my heart when I decided it would be my day to celebrate love.
Not wanting to waste one moment of the day, I sprang to life quite a bit earlier than usual for a Saturday. I spent the morning meditating and reading as always, watched a MindPT session about love and was ready to take on the bliss of the day. I finished breakfast and coffee on my patio, serenaded by the birds while beginning this blog and taking care of a little computer work. Any day I get to write is a perfect day.
Of course, sometimes love hurts. I can’t think of Valentine’s without thinking of my daughter. We loved the opportunity to get a little cheesy in creating ways to celebrate and claim each other as valentines. This will be my fifth week of love without her. I felt deeply the memories, all while they brought smiles and tears. Regardless, today is still my opportunity to celebrate love.
Today, tasks around the house were going to wait. I dressed and headed out to the grocery store for needs but also some special treats to have and cook throughout the weekend and the coming “day”. I parked far away to enjoy the walk and the weather a bit longer. I was in and out as quick as possible but not without picking up tulips for my Mom. I headed to this amazing cookie shop in town for iced heart cookies. I don’t do sugar or flour anymore (with amazing results in how I feel) but on this day, I was going to enjoy one of my favorites, and I got one for myself and my Mom.
My car had been screaming for weeks to be washed and today was the perfect day. I filled up with gas and decided to enjoy a late lunch and glass of wine on the patio of a lovely Mediterranean cafe. Afterward, I was finally headed to my Mom’s for hugs.
Already dressed in active wear since the main event of the day would be walking and reading at our beautiful Lake Hefner, which just happens to be on the way to and from my Mom’s, I pulled in to the lake that the entire city had decided was the best place to be on this beautiful afternoon. It almost felt like a party with everyone so giddy to be gifted such a perfect day in the middle of February. I realized, having arrived later than I intended, that with the sunset at around 6pm, it would grace my love celebration.
Not exactly the norm for me, but it so happened a friend and I had planned to spend the evening out joining a gathering at a restaurant in the Paseo art district. After the sunset left me feeling like it had drizzled warm honey over me, I arrived home in just enough time to dress and end the day treating myself to a love fest of wine, laughing and sharing with other singles, under the huge bonus of the Snow Moon / Triple Threat Moon which lit up the patio with a glow so fitting of celebrating love. Scrumptious!!
In many ways, it was just another ordinary day, but for me it was a perfect celebration of love.
So how are you feeling about Valentine’s Day. Are you looking forward to special time with the one you love, does it make you sad, are you single? The real question is how do you feel about it? What are some ways you can shift your thinking and find even some little way to celebrate love. Maybe you don’t have pleasant memories, or maybe you’re stuck in what “should be”. But here it is, a brand new week of love to do something brand new and different, or exactly the same way that’s brought you much joy in previous years.
The point is, especially if you’re single, find a way to celebrate loving you, treating yourself as well as those you love – with love.
From my full heart to yours
For further learning on life’s “expectations” I’ve included a link of Expectation Hangovers by Christine Hassler